Okay, as before, some spoilers lie ahead, children, so don't bitch about it if you read this and feel like it ruined your cinematic experience. Not that there's really anything to ruin; approximately 85% of humans have seen or read Twilight, or had someone they know pander abut how wonderful or craptastic it was. But on to my review:

First off: Vampires do not sparkle in sunlight. They burn. This has been a particular trait of vampire-kind since the dawn of time. Of course, the degree to which they burn depends on the storyteller; the ones in my stories tend to burn slightly less than emo kids. Who we all know burst into flames in the sun. But that's not the worst bit. Now children, here is Mr. Crane's paraphrased version of the movie:
"Hey, I'm new."
"..."
"You're hot."
"You too."
"We should be in love."
"It would be cool, but I'm a murderous evil creature."
"I can live with that."
"Okay."
And they all lived happily ever after. Until the world's most awesome game of baseball, but I'll let you read about that somewhere else. Anyway, the point made above is a fairly accurate detailing of how the main characters, Bella the human and Prettyboy the vampire dive headfirst into a relationship that really should not work. It's almost like dating a meatloaf while you're on a diet. Really now. Well, anyway, besides hanging out with a hungry vampire for THE WHOLE MOVIE, some wannabe tension is added by having Bella's dad be buddies with the head of a Native American tribe of werewolves (You'd honestly have to be thick in the head to not figure out that they're wolfies...) who's son has a crush on Bella. Ooh, rivalry. Unfortunately this is not played up in the movie at all except for a few dirty looks between the hungry vampire boyfriend, AKA the most perfect man in the world, Edward to his fans, and wolf-boy Jacob. Honestly, I would have been much more interested to see some big battle between the two. But no, Mr. Crane, no battle for you. The climactic clash at the end only consisted of about ten hits and a jump, and wasn't even with someone we'd seen for a while, but some new guy who turns up and get's all 'I'm evil, so I'ma hunt you'. Totally awesome, if you've never seen a Hollywood action flick before. I have to say my two favorite parts in the whole thing were the baseball game and blocking a car with your hand. But the car thing was shown about a bagillian times in the previews, so I'm not sure if that counts. Also, I don't see what the big deal about turning Bella into a vampire is. I mean, she already looks like one, only has four friends besides Eddy, and then the 'oh look there's food I'm hungry' element would be gone, allowing much easier hanging of out with the new beau. All in all, a great movie for girls under 16 who love sappy romance movies and want to date a creature that wants their blood, but besides a few almost decent special effects, I just find the movie to be too unrealistic to someone who pays attention, or has ever tried to get a girl to like them. Ever. Oh, and yes, vampires can be realistic when done well. So there. My recomendation? Great for young girls (and maybe a few boys) who are big fans of those cute endings in Disney movies. Otherwise it's just another sappy romance movie, albeit with superhuman pale people who try very hard not to eat you. Oh, and the black guy was cool.